Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Marriage

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1. Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence...(a life sentence).

2. Marriage is love. Love is blind Therefore marriage is an institution for the blind.

3. Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his Bachelor's
Degrees and the woman gets her masters.

4. Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and suffering.

5. Married life is full of excitement and frustration: In the first of
marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBORS listen.

6. Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that instead.

7. Son: How much does it cost to get married, Dad?
Father: I don't know son, I'm still paying for it.

8. Son: Is it true Dad? I heard that in China , a man doesn't know his
wife until he marries her.
Father: That happens everywhere, son, EVERYWHERE!

9. Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

10. They say that when a man holds a woman's hand before marriage, it is love, after marriage...it is self defense.

11. When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But, when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder why.

12. Eighty percent of married man cheat in America , the rest cheat in Europe.

13. After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin. They just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

14. Before marriage, a man 'yearns' for the woman he loves. After the marriage, the "Y" becomes silent.

15. It's not true that married men live longer than single men, it only
seems longer.

16. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure for one thing...either the car is new or the wife is.

Wesss Rayuannya Mantabss

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Manis
Cwo : "maaf mbak,,jangan terlalu lama duduk di kursi itu,,pindah sini dekat saya aja."
Cwe : "loh kenapa?"
Cwo: "takut dikerubung semut,,soalnya mbak manis."
(Najezzz)

Nyaman
Cwo : "mbak,,orangtuanya pengrajin bantal ya?"
Cwe : "hah?! Bukan,,kenapa? "
Cwo : "kok kalo deket mbak rasanya nyaman."
(Hajarrrrr blehh)

Aduk-aduk
Cwo : "kamu itu seperti sendok."
Cwe : "kenapa?"
Cwo : "karena kamu mengaduk-aduk perasaanku."
(Emg ai kolak pke d aduk)

Coin untuk Telepon Ibu
Cwo : "mbak punya uang koin? Boleh minta?"
Cwe : "buat apa?"
Cwo : "aku udah janji sama ibu kalau aku akan menelepon dia kalo aku jatuh cinta."
(Jiaaahaaaa, lemparrr ke jndelaaa)

Tenggelam Bersama
Cwe : "say, kalo mama kamu & aku tenggelam barengan,,siapa yg kamu tolong?"
Cwo : "ya mamaku lah,,emang kamu yg lahirin aku?"
Cwe : "ih kamuuu."
Cwo : "iyaa,,tapi habis selamatin mamaku,,aku akan tenggelam bersama kamu."
(Ihhh mlsss bngettt)

Kerja Buat Istana
Cwo : "hmm,,maaf yaaa,,belakangan ini tanganku agak kasar."
Ce : "ahh,,gpp kookk,,emangnya kenapa?"
Cwo : "soalnya tiap hari aku jadi kuli."
Cwe : "yang bener kamu,,dimanaaa? "
Cwo : "di hati kamu,,aku sedang buatin istana cinta buat kita berdua."
(Hahahha, ampunnnn DJ)

Berjuta Bintang
Cwo : "sayaaanngggg, papa kamu astronaut yaaa,,,."
Cwe : "nggak kookk."
Cwo : "kalo gitu pasti kakek kamu."
Cwe : "nggak jugaa."
Cwo : "trus yg astronaut siapaa,,?"
Cwe : "nggak adaaa."
Co : "tapi koq ada berjuta2 bintang di mata kamuuuu,,."
(Cepeeee dehhh)

Cape berlari di pikiran
Cwo : "neng,,kamu capek gaakkk,,."
Cwe : "haaahhh,,,. "
Cwo : "soalnya eneng berlari2 terus di pikiran abang,,."
(Priiiikitiuwwwwwwww)
‎
Setengah Pelangi di Matamu
‎Cwo: kenapa kita cuma bisa ngeliat pelangi setengah doang?
Cwe: gatau, emang kenapa?
Cwo: Soalnya setengahnya ada di mata kamu.
(Emg nya Jamrud, ada pelangeeee, d bola matamuuu)
‎
Transfer Hatiku
Cwo: boleh pinjem flashdisknya?
Cwe: boleh, mau buat apa?
Cwo: buat transfer hatiku ke hatimu...:D
(Hoeeekkkkksssss.........emg data presentaseeeee, najesss)

Kesejahteraan negara di dunia dan di alam lain

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Kemiskinan suatu negara tidak hanya dapat dilihat dari pendapatan perkapita rakyatnya tapi juga penampilan para Hantunya, berikut perbandingannya :

1. Eropa & Amerika
•Drakula
- Jas hitam & setelannya, berdasi, berpenampilan rapi dan elegan,
- Tempat tinggal kastil megah atau rumah mewah
- Bermobil mewah
- Berpendidikan tinggi
(Lihat Film Twilight)

2. China :
•Vampir
- Berpakaian adat bangsawan China lengkap dengan songkok hitam,
- Tinggal di kuil atau kastil mewah
- Memakai perhiasan berupa kalung atau cincin giok

3. Timur Tengah / Arab :
•Jin
- Berbaju bangsawan arab, lengkap dengan sepatu khas timur tengahnya
- Memakai anting dan perhiasan dari emas
- Tinggal didalam lampu minyak yang terbuat dari emas dan berhias permata

4. Indonesia :
•Kuntilanak
- Daster putih polos sederhana
- Rambut panjang tidak terurus, kantung mata hitam legam dan wajah pucat pasi
- Tinggal di pohon2, kadang digudang tidak terpakai.

•Pocong
- Muka jelek, tidak terawat
- Pakaian kain kafan kumel karena tidak pernah dicuci
- Tempat tinggal kuburan atau lorong-lorong gelap

•Jelangkung
- Saking mirisnya, kemana2 kudu jalan kaki, gak sanggup bayar ojek (datang gak dijemput, pulang gak dianter)

•Tuyul
- Boro2 baju, cuma punya kolor doank...

Bandingkan dan renungkan kawan,
Betapa miskinnya negeri kita, sampai hantunya saja mengenaskan keadaannya :D

Pe dehhh

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Singkong Empuk??TaPe dEh

Daging ditusuk?? SaTe dEh

Teman na jeNgKoL??PetE dEh

PeDes" diuLeK?? CaBe dEh

Yg Kamu Pegang?? HaPe dEh

Yg ngrim buat tulisan ini? Sumpah.............. Cakep dEH;;) hixhix..

Thursday, November 10, 2011

Kereta Api

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Samir : Ken kereta KRL berangkat dari selatan ke arah utara, ke mana arah asapnya.

Deken : Tunggu, aku bayangin dulu ya, oo gampang tuh berarti ke selatan, arah asap berlawanan dengan arah tujuan ke utara, ya pasti ke selatan

Samir : Salah

Deken : Kok bisa, memangnya ke Barat atau ke Timur, ga mungkin...

Samir : Khan KRL alias kereta listrik jadi ga ada asapnya..